Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Walk of Shame today included voting.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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