Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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