If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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