it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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