I CAN MOONWALK!
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
