we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
