I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
