I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
