U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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