the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
