I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
