Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Randomize
