I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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