he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I am mentally ready for anal.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
