I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
