It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
