I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
