She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
