And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize