We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
