so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
