You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
