if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
