JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize