school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
