she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i need some magic done to my vagina
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
