Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
