Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
