he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
