never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
