Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
