I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
