She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
