did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
