I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
There was a lot of him and a little penis
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize