He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
