it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
