Sry I called you an 8
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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