I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She tied me up with her honor cords...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
