yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
