a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
