I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
