Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
