there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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