The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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