Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
