I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize