She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
