so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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