I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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