Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The feeling are messing with the penis
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
