I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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