just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
