Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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