I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
