It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm getting married
To pizza
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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