i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
