He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
