I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
