I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
