Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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