Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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