Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
This is my gift to your gina
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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