So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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