I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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