She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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