I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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