ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
