Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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