I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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