but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
