I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
